wow 101th post.
i get jealous too easily.
even when that person isn't even with me.
i am probably just lonely.
a failed loser who just needs a companion.
i want to see the day where i can post a happy post.
maybe not in the near future.
----
My social darwinist approach to life seem to be making me emotionally detached.
the weak shouldn't be bothered about.
but how strong am i myself?
i fall at every step i take,
and the fucking "i am busy" excuse is over-used.
like seriously.
i get your point.
fuck.
am i even trying?
I don't think so.
I stopped trying since 26th April.
perhaps that's why i am so laid back nowadays.
there's no point trying,
plus "i am doing well anyway. why try harder?"
BDDD is my definition of well, anyway.
i am emo-ing and passing on these feelings of self-inflicted pain and punishment, even when i have not tried and simply given up.
Shall i be assertive?
Even if not, at the very least,
I Will Try Harder.
「正しい事をやってば、きっと何も起これないでしょう」
じゃ、「正しい事」って何?
正義か?義理か? 心の導きか?
自分に解らないなら、如何すれば「正しい事」をするの?
なら、「正しい事」をしない。
したい事をすればいいと思います。
ーーーーーーーーーーーーーー
fufufu.
NDP'09 NEshow was nice! :D
much better than the first one i went lol
fireworks was super cool (i worry about the pollution though)
so much crap to do..
taiwan buddy coming soon too =X
got stupid briefing tmr..i end school at 1 they plan at 4 wtf.
wanted to go watch 20th century boys with lytien =(
fuck.
can't even have one day off. zz
cant wait for 9th august to come..i'll be free from all these commitments and i can finally sit down and rest.. oh wait promos come after that. Ha.ha.ha.
maybe slitting my wrist would be better.
but i refuse to be labelled "emo"
and i still thinking people who slit their wrists are retarded.
i shall tank it and see my hair grow whiter.
i miss the times where i was a kid, where stress was a joke.
it became serious since godknowswhen.
recovered from my illness! :D
but then got this freaking big ulcer (as big as my tooth wtheck) that is damn pain..
pain until i gave up on eating at all -.-
got back maths!
53/100 -.-
4th in class somemore LOL
damn win~
---------------
どんな時代でも、どんな時でも、
君を思っている。。多分。
じゃないなら、多分他の女を思っているwwwww
Fever + Cough + Runny Nose + Sore throat + Sore eyes.
i smell something fishy.
HAHA.
maybe death's gates have opened? o.O
oh well.
let's try to be optimistic (shock!)
maybe not death. hospital visit?
i am getting the impression that everyone's busy.
everyone.
i don't think i can be worthy of anyone's time.
i am after all just a speck of sand in everyone's desert.
you do not have to care about me.
i am worthless.
inconspicuous.
i could just die one day and no one would care.
maybe some might drop their tears.
but who would remember me 1 week later?
i guess no one.
no one could care more about me.
no one knows what i am thinking.
and i don't plan on telling anyone.
i may be selfish,
but all i want is a little time.
guess that's too hard.
maybe i am thinking too much.
or not.
how do i trust anyone?
i don't think i trust anyone at all.
it is so easy to simply put up an aura of mistrust around yourself,
and so hard to get yourself to trust anyone.
not after your trust backfires.
and you suffer the backlash.
what is trust?
a consensual bond between 2 persons,
acknowledging and believing in each other.
i don't think i can do that.
Not anymore.
sian e-learning.
just found out i had work to do lol.
-.- o well go play dota.
--------------------------
i am but minuscule,
not worthy of anyone's time,
ignored and eschewed,
i cry when the bells chime.
there is no need for your fake pity,
for in the world i place my mistrust.
in this beautiful city,
i alone cry and weep,
i alone am left behind,
left alone to sigh,
left alone to cry,
for the world has forsaken me.
So many things to say =)
firstly i am 5th kyu for kendo :D
and i finally wear armor le lol
its a totally different kendo from now on D=
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BLOCK TESTS ARE FINALLY OVER YAY.
screwed..but who cares.
---------------------------------
NDP IS SUPER DUPER COOL :D
even though its a rehearsal..
with fake presidents and all,
the fireworks was still dazzling =)
--------------------------------
pain is an anesthesia,
to relieve my anxieties,
i can't stand the pressure,
and i am falling into depression.