new blog link @ http://revival-call.blogspot.com
(:
gotta start mugging.
maths.
ki.
econs.
history.
and get BBBD at least...
i need my h3 D=
time passes so fast in jc..
by a blink of an eye, its almost the end of the year. o.O
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yay finishing lit review :D
2250 words le omg overshot x.x
gg next week 3 tests.
havent start studying o.O
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how can anyone expect me to treat you virtuously,
to treat you like a friend because of your innate qualities,
when you are wearing that mask of deception,
or at least i think you are.
i may be skeptical but it's all to protect myself.
of course, you may be thinking the same thing.
1month + left to promos, and i am still slacking.
way to go. -.-
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Excuses.
i make them.
you make them.
they are an integral part of life.
but have you ever thought of the fact that excuses too are lies?
it's just a lie that we all make to improve our self-interests.
we are all, insofar, utilitarians.
forget your morals.
realise that you are a liar at the core.
live on with the fact that you are a liar,
and rot with it.
die with it.
humans are filled and corrupted with deception even to the core.
somewhere along the road,
i changed.
realized the despair and pain,
the lies that shrouds our lives.
got pessimistic,
started to realise the falsities that people portray.
how so many people in my life are simply wearing masks of their own,
a smiling face now,
contorts into a perverse smile like Jigsaw.
How so many people wave a hand at you now,
and wave a dagger at your back later.
how sickening this world is.
but i have comfort in knowing that there are real friends,
ones who i can trust,
even if it may not last.
with this friends i may be able to survive the craziness of this world,
the plotting, scheming of those who claim to be friends,
those who ignore you now and try to be cozy later when it affects their self-interest.
how many true friends can we find in this world?
how many aren't simply pretending for their own self benefit?
how many aren't simply socializing with you because there is a need to?
how many aren't simply acting out their friendliness, and is all ready to stab you in the back when they have to?
it disgusts me when i think of it.
i wish those who would fake through their lives bon voyage,
for their lives would end up in despair and self-carnage.
I am enlightened, even by a little bit,
the world,
is a blob of lies and deceit,
unruly and ready to kill all who is not prepared for it.
ready to affect them with a chronic poison,
one that won't kill them instantly,
but slowly drive them to their end.
slowly, slowly,
it will come.
and i shall be prepared for it.
"why would we want to be superficial with you?"
true.
maybe the death of ivan ilyich did get to my head.
but it does bring a new perspective to my world.
now i realise the importance of reflecting upon our lives,
as well as extrapolating my viewpoint to that of a third-person view.
to see my whole life as it goes on,
but would i be able to save this wretched life of mine?
anyway russian literature rocks.
now reading crime and punishment.
the writers were able to depict and illustrate solely with words, that atmosphere of demise, depression, sorrow, pain, conflict, contradictions.
Let's hope i can remain sane (albeit barely) for the rest of these few years.
and hopefully i can see through the superficial and the superfluous.
i shall try.
i despise pricks who think that they are the smartest brains in the world.
Because only i have the rights to think so.
don't try to be normative with me.
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the superficiality of the world is disgusting.
no one can be trusted.
no one should be trusted.
no one really means what they say.
everyone is selfish.
since this is the case,
on what grounds should i trust others?
on what grounds should i do things for "the greater good"?
i shall just ensure my own survival.